It's All Connected

So I'm writing this here because there is now no longer room for my personal outpourings on my professional website. Do you love my compartmentalising? I'm not sure if it's healthy easier but let's see what happens next... What I've begun to understand that as The Life Doula I'm interested in the impacts of systemic abuse and trauma and how to create systemic healing. You can see why I have huge anxiety at times. For years I have been wandering all over the place geographically, mentally and emotionally in my quest to resolve the world's problems. It started out with Land Abuse, I figured out that the cause for Land Abuse was human and I decided to take my quest there. Trying to understand how trauma impacted the planning process and a sense of belonging, as well as creating further displacement. It was a bit of a wild ride. Then what I realised was that people just wanted to feel better and that having stable, connected, well-served communities is absolutely key to that.  

And so every since putting people at the core of my plan on how to heal the world I've now been on a mission of how best to do that. What I can tell you is that it has taken some time. That it is multilayered as it could be problematic. The real news is that I'm right here back on the blog doing what I need to to do to stay sane and that is writing. Making the pain pay and finding a way to focus, kerb and harness my own creative energy for the good. Bear in mind that I also have my own traumas that can be a long meandering and winding road that often leads me away from here and then back again. That prioritising my own needs are the best way to to have the capacity to do the work I'm here for. That unlocking generation of abuse and trauma isn't easy and won't be done right here right now. That I can take one hour or even one day to experience joy if I need to. That I need to keep on building stamina.

All I can say is that if you are actually interested and keen to find out more keep watching this space and the information will eventually guide me back to here or one of my other platforms and eventually the story, realisation, insight will be shared and I'll no longer be playing tens years of twenty years of catch up. I can hear Abraham Hicks' amusement from here. So this is where I am here. At the centre of my own circle that was created for me and that I may now only just be beginning to get a handle over. Seriously though this is going to be a lifetime's work. Sorting through all this, making the magic happen, sharing the wisdom and doing my best to leave humanity and the planet better than I found it. 

So yes it's all connected.  If you are following me on Instagram the hashtag will tell you so. You can always head over to The Life Doula if you want to learn even more.

Re-Direction

So I have no idea in the last few months when it finally hit me that what my real niche was. The Life Doula deals with Systemic Trauma. What I can tell is that it knocked me for six. My brain has been going a little bit crazy ever since. Actually, it might all have started when I bought Convert Kit and my friend Karyn Reynolds started sequencing emails for me and then it kind of became clear what profile storyteller and connector of dots I was and then all of a sudden poof you are here. Re-writing at the blog you had half abandoned again after what I can only describe as one of the toughest years in history. Yes so I am re-building the dream of The Life Doula and it would appear that the universe has gifted me with all the information and tools that I need in order to take it all forward. One slow step at a time. 

 The end goal is a community of some sort. 

The immediate goal is getting convertkit running like a boss. 

The next week's goals are to get more one-to-one clients and that they are actually all the clients I want. 

I'm not doing workshops. I might do talks. 

I am avoiding causing trauma. That's really important. 

What I am really rediscovering right now is my passion for writing even if it is just Instagram posts oh yes that. 

With the topic of Systemic Trauma & Abuse, I know it's going to be hard to run out of writing topics. Right now at this point, I'm just hoping that I write enough that I can actually get round to reading some books. How amazing would that be? And of course to be able to afford them. 

So yes I'm excited about my re-direct and also now know where this blog fits into that process of creating content. You see this blog has been like a lame duck for years sometimes' it gets my attention other times, I seem to roam away from like a wild unicorn should. Now I see that it has a far more vital role to play in terms of telling my story. You see The Life Doula has been eluding me for such a long time it has left my writing wondering all of the places. Largely talking about myself and not about my niche or even customer-focused. You know what that was cause I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't get all the things that I wanted to into straight lines. There always seemed like a crisis mos to the one on my own brain. Now that I have solved it I can get linear. You see that is what trauma does we get lost in the information stuck in the overwhelming, twittering on about what might seem like unconnected nonsense. Then, of course, you make the connection. It's all connected. Which leads me on to my next blog post. 

Blogger Ten Years On

I've been working on my social media business strategy trying to figure out what it is that I want to achieve and even trying to figure our very specifically what my niche is. Yes the illusive niche. I've rewritten my personal statement close to a trillion times and I'm slowly creeping up on some seriously needed finalisation. The news that I am a Life Doula, not a coach I use a layered integrated support system to provide ongoing and continual care for all my clients. Teaching the art of self-nurturance in a community environment. 

What I'm really trying to figure out is how to get this blog to post to Facebook automatically without a lot of faff. Back in the day at the very start of blogger and Facebook combined you could link blogger to Facebook notes. In about 2011 that stopped at to be honest I have rarely been bothered to really do much about it. I have attempted to find out if there is any way round it, though there don't seem to be. Any tips out there? It kind of makes me sad, as personally I really enjoy blogger. Why's that? Well because it was the first blogging format that I started using and I really enjoy it uncomplicated styles and format. I even remember the original theme and the lengths I went to get it looking the way I wanted. I hasten to say I still have the same tastes.....I wonder how it would seem now if I'd kept it left in an internet time capsule. Then Wordpress happened and Blogger feels like a fail to thrive child. 

I've really thought about ditching it for a few years as I was unable to create traction largely because I wasn't fully committed to my own process. I was reluctant to move away form it as a platform as it would have been a big job to move over all the articles and get them back into any kind of format that I would be happy with.

In the last few years I've been amazed by it's re-emergance. In fact it's been really interesting to witness quite a few high profile individuals to continue to use it. You can now add pages and I've also set up another new blog Scopophilia to explore art, healing and the built environment. You can layer different websites and blogs to the different tabs which is kinda cool. Creating the effect I always wanted to a spiral bound notebook that is always expanding. My old post are still recorded in my Facebook notes.

Cryptic Titles

Wow. Hmmm and ahhhh. In recent weeks I have realised that I am in the habit of writing cryptic titles for blog posts or even cryptic Facebook posts. Now I see how utterly ludicrous that is. Not kidding. For some reason I want to be able to say what I say without actually saying it and expecting other people to understand. Does anybody else do this. It feels like I am inviting people into my inner world without giving them the password and than are rather perturbed when people fail to climb in something that they know nothing about. 

I think we often all do this and makes me think deeply about the communication tactic I use with my relationships. Yes no shit. I'm very lucky in my marriage and the 7 years relationship that we have an agreement that embraces the harshness of brutal honesty - which is great right up until the moment when one or the other party is actually lying to themselves. No joke that happens which can be incredibly challenging to identify. 

Anyways because of this privilege that we have afforded each other we can say what we want to without fear of reprise it doesn't men that we always like what the other has to say it does mean that we always agree it does mean that we both know exactly where we stand. 

What is interesting to me with regard to this article of an exploration of honesty is that I now understand that if I am not willing to say or fully explain what I feel. I cannot expect anybody to understand. Yet at the same time how can I write blog/journal entries in the hope of being understood if I am only writing for myself. It gives air to another idea. The idea of sharing. Despite the fact that I frequently wish to air my thoughts I am not a big fan of sharing. Like really, not a big fan.Does that seem strange? Probably. What I think deeply about in these cryptic heading and illusive references in that there is something that I want to say, that I'm not just going to come out and say as it might be harmful to me. So many people open up in the hope of gaining support for their ideas, thoughts of feeling and have found themselves criticised and then dismissed. It's harmful and damaging. Many of us have experienced this an who know how a critical comment or in fact any comment at all has impacted someone creative aspirations. They certainly have me. Now more than ever there is a need to open up. To cut the crap and say what's on our minds. We are currently co-creating the universe whether actively engaged or not. Well me I've dipping my toes in the water while wearing my socks. An exercise that will surely end up in illness. So note to self, be honest first and then decide if you actually want to share, drop the cryptic.

Where to Begin - A new?

Cryptic. I always find that when I do know what to say. I always want to start a log post with where to begin..... so much so that if I write where to begin I usually just waffle on for a paragraph or so until I actually find the answer. The idea of 'Where to begin?' is where I actually start.

So often in life some how we think that we have to get it all figured out before we even start. it's kind of insane when I think back to this blog and how it started. Yes how it started! I was either sitting in the office of Troubador Studios - A recording studio or I was at my mother house. Though I believe I was probably at my mother house in the living room trying (as I always seem to be doing) what to do with my life. I wonder if I knew than what I knew now, if that question would have unsettled me so  much. As far as I am concerned things have worked out fabulously well. I mean incredibly well without me actually having any idea what I was doing. If anybody had told my 27 year old self that I would be a. Living in Cape Town - yes that and b. married to a beautiful man who I adore and adores me. I probably would have said sign me up I'm ready lets go. Luckily for me life isn't the instant gratification monkey, so you know I had to learn some hard lessons to get there. Those lessons were totally worth it and I now know that we have to go through some tough times to appreciate the value of the things that we create for ourselves.

Like a lot of people I have a lot of key components of a fabulous life. I'm still building the puzzle and that is an awesome place to be. Yes it really is. After all I intend on living a very long and happy life. I promise. I f I knew every single element of what was to come next I'd be bored shitless. Yup I'm probably pull and Elizabeth 1st and starve myself to death. Life is a masterpiece and like any master piece there are a lot of element to consider even Rothco and his beautiful blue hues had to god through a process of refinement in order for them to be sooooo absorbing. We under estimate how much time it takes and exactly how many details are involved in order for us to become who we are. So instead of thinking I want it all, I need more (which you undoubtedly do) why not think of your life as a giant canvas. Consider you methodology. Are you going to attach the canvas? Are we throwing paint at it? What colours are we using? Or are we meticulously doodling miniature scenes and slowly filling up the space. It is a blank canvas that you are happy to leave white? Or do you feel that the canvas must be prepared first in order for us to begin to create our vision. Life is a creative adventure.