In recent weeks and months I have found it increasingly difficult to sit down and journal on this blog. Partially because I am not being honest with myself and partially because I keep on thinking I am writing for an audience. I am sure that I attempted to tackle this in previous posts at the end of last year. Where I gave myself permission to break free then forgot and imprissoned myslef again. I keep this blog for me no one else that is true. Yet I find myslef explaining again why that is and it seems to me that it becomes a ritual revisitation. So that I can remind myself and well maybe offer insight to someone else who I'm not sure I want to share with about the deeper workings of my soul.
It's a new moon today with lots of connections to nostalgia. Yup yup yup. So why not talk about again a to why I keep this blog. Why it is important to me. Why it is imperfectly perfect and not necessarily desiring to be pleasing and cohesive though I do want more for myself.....
I started this blog ten years ago in a hope of mapping and sedating the more active ideas of my brain. In recent weeks and even days I get closer and more accepting of the fact that I am a creative person with an endless stream of creative thoughts, that spin round my head at a distressing rate that most people would find daunting. I find them daunting. The best solution that I have ever found for this onslaught is journaling. I tried keeping notebook to organise my thoughts and then I tired to catagorise those thoughts into notebooks. It gets messy constantly and continually messy. I work better with clarity. Except my brain fires lots and lots of thought. I literally have to rewrite them down and shelve them. I have no idea how many half started articles, blog posts, projects flash fiction and blogs that float around my head and my house. So the notebooks are almost always spiral bound. So that they can be expanded, edited, ripped apart and in a few cases disgaurded. It's very very statisfying. So that why I keep this blog. I just have to keep reminding myself that I keep this blog for me and nobody else.
It's a new moon today with lots of connections to nostalgia. Yup yup yup. So why not talk about again a to why I keep this blog. Why it is important to me. Why it is imperfectly perfect and not necessarily desiring to be pleasing and cohesive though I do want more for myself.....
I started this blog ten years ago in a hope of mapping and sedating the more active ideas of my brain. In recent weeks and even days I get closer and more accepting of the fact that I am a creative person with an endless stream of creative thoughts, that spin round my head at a distressing rate that most people would find daunting. I find them daunting. The best solution that I have ever found for this onslaught is journaling. I tried keeping notebook to organise my thoughts and then I tired to catagorise those thoughts into notebooks. It gets messy constantly and continually messy. I work better with clarity. Except my brain fires lots and lots of thought. I literally have to rewrite them down and shelve them. I have no idea how many half started articles, blog posts, projects flash fiction and blogs that float around my head and my house. So the notebooks are almost always spiral bound. So that they can be expanded, edited, ripped apart and in a few cases disgaurded. It's very very statisfying. So that why I keep this blog. I just have to keep reminding myself that I keep this blog for me and nobody else.
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