Never being one to limit myself I don't think I will. Today was a good day. How much I'll manage to tell you about it I'm not sure, having had a glass and a bit of wine. Should I go backwards or forwards when retracing my day? If you know what I mean? Well Brendan hasn't returned my calls. Should I be concerned? And no he's not a love interest. And no that isn't a hook for an evolving story. I already love Brendan, who wouldn't. He's truly avant-garde, darling! That's enough about Brendan. Hmmm to much to much to tell can I edit? Oh quotation of the day "Better running to confession, than running to the club" Unfortunately I missed that one, as I was running to confession. My mother relayed it to me later in the car home. Apparently after I had run into, not only the church but the Metropolitan Cathedral in Edinburgh (doesn't that just make you want to be catholic), my mother was accidentally consumed into a lady congregation member's monologue. The monolouge had went on to question why I was running to mass, explaining that the priest was always late, and that was bad because it made people late, and that some day he'll be on time and have to wait because everybody will be late! My mother explained that I was running to confession. I can't imagine what the look on the lady's face would have been, but I'm sure it would have been a kind of raised eyebrow quizzical kind of - oh. To which she said "Better running to confession, than running to the club".
I'm not a religious nut or at least I'm trying not to be. This was my second confession over two weeks after a period of about fifteen years. In some ways the whole story is far to multi-faceted and over far to many years to even try to explain in this one blog. So for now we'll leave it at; I was baptised a catholic, raised a catholic (including school) and was not confirmed a catholic. Now after some years I've found myself back there/here and not as the result of a hallelujah moment. To be honest they've impressed me. So now as the result of a well meaning and in fact truly exceptional and pleasant ninety-four year old monk who gave me my very own bible. I have promised to go to mass every Sunday. I don't know if I was duped. He is ninety-four and he has spent almost his entire life as a monk, so really, it's best not to argue. The only thing is it's a double whammy, that's what they don't get across in the films. Not only is confession a opportunity to get all sorts of things of your chest, but in order to receive the true benefits of mass; holy communion aka Jesus' flesh & blood and therefore God himself, you have be pure of all mortal sins. That means having not committed any of the ten commandments - which is a biggy. Just read them and you might be surprised how many crop up on a weekly basis. So confession & mass go directly in hand with one another. So that's religious instruction for the week.
So let me tell you about my confessional, there wasn't that much in it I just explained that I had lost my temper with my parents over the last couple of weeks. During confession I also managed to lie, (so I'll have to go fix that kind of like this blog). So like I said I'm a newbie at all this. In the old days or when I last made confession you used to go into a box with a curtain - like you would expect in films. But now it's all very open you just take a seat up there, in front of everyone. So I was a bit confused after having run across the cathedral to the confession boxes to find that there was no green light/ red light thing going on or even door open door shut. There was however a priest sitting right in front of one of the side alters with an empty stool beside him. Was he praying? Was he performing confession? I get really close inflect, waiting for a signal, there's none, he must be praying? I have to go back and ask some girls standing around a grand piano, who point me back to the alter. I hurry back. I start making my confession, which is rushed and grossly inadequate. Not only that but while I'm sitting there I realise I'm sitting in front of a shrine to Saint Andrew (the patron saint of Scotland) and I'm a real patriot. I'm fascinated by that kind of stuff. These are proper relics. I'm not sure what but there definitely looked to be some bone matter there. I was trying very hard not to be engrossed. Yet at the same time mildly disappointed with the state of my confession, not only in front of parts of our Patron Saint but in front of parts of someone who had hung out with Jesus himself. Is this powerful stuff or have I lost you. The priest lets me off with a very light penance which included personal prayer, I didn't quite catch the rest of it he spoke very softly so I done a Hail Mary, A Glory Be and an Our Father, though I'm sure I'll be doing a lot more. I have to tell you though those prayers made a difference, maybe only to me but I felt it. Is it unholy to discuss confession on a blog - probably but I'm sure I'll get to that.
Other factors in my day included meeting up with my brother with mum at a polish cafe,after his honeymoon on the oriental express. Watching 'Spiderman' with mum and then the remains of 'Interview With A Vampire'. I hadn't seen 'Spiderman' before though 'Interview With a Vampire' did give me an opportunity to explain who Kirsten Dunst was to mum. Jamie emailed me some very good photographs of the Wharves. Mum got seriously stressed out about meeting Dad on a reconnaissance mission (and they're not even divorced). I still worry bout my mum dying but luckily I can hear her snoring through the wall right now. Everything else relating to this kind of stuff is just a little to close to home to jot down for all you folks to read. Yesterday i finished my crochet blanket. Robert Mugabe is just evil and consumerism reins on. Tomorrow I aim to help mum tidy the house, phone Afton, phone Therese. And maybe, just maybe I'll get round to regigging this blog like I spoke about yesterday. Before I logged on tonight I was a bit bemused that what appears to be a reasonable prominent New York literary website was already using the name 'small spiral notebook'. Should I stick with this theme? Does it matter? are there any original thoughts left? I still haven't mentioned Jamie's inspiration via Emmett yet. Maybe I'll leave it for when I'm dry or you guys are particularly board.
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