Maintaining Motivation

Dave told me years ago the Noam Chomsky or it might have been Wayne Dyer that he spent years talking to empty rooms before anybody would give him the time of day. I can relate to that right now. It's keeping up the self-belief that is the issue. In the world of personal development we are supposed to keep it positive manifesting what we want at the blink of a hat. It it true and I do believe in mini-miracles and that if you put it out into the universe with love it almost certain to come back. Yet when I think on myself and the personal journey that I have gone through; I like to think that I am happy go luck then from time to time and far more often than I would like to admit a bought of rage hits me like a wall of incomprehensible bullshit that you can't really swim through. I marvel at people that can keep calm and maintain voice tone through out a whole interaction. The thing is that publicly, unless of course some on is an absolute cunt I usually manged to keep together. Even when I see someone dropped a used condom in the street (true story). Luckily I have a partner that is very evenly tempered who has the best voice tone in the world. Unless of course I'm trying to explain something that he point blank does not believe in. Which could be the weirdest combination of things you could ever imagine.Then it becomes like fake news and all of a sudden google is our mutual ally. Seriously how did couples resolve arguments before google?

So you believe in yourself you believe in what it is that you have to say. Then you have to acknowledge that you are not exactly the best advocate for the things your talking about because you are sitting in front of your computer addicted to your IPhone like everybody else. Do I really believe myself. I'm I conscious enough to be able to take on what it is to be conscious as a single human living on planet earth. 

I still have to write my list for the home manifesto. To write the agreements that hold a household together much like businesses. Our relationship agreement has fallen way by the wayside, a long time ago. The thing is as individual human's here on Earth it's nice to be optimistic then my critical mind very quickly tears things apart and I don't see the positive. 

Take this weekend for example I was a Streetopia and firstly I had a bad personal experience, that marred thing slightly. However even before that I became aware of any art work that was being created for the even. I don't even know how many gizzilion holographic ribbons (of presumed plastic) that were tied on there. In the end it was all I could see. Why would an environmentally aware organisation make an artwork out of new plastic. It was crazy. I didn't notice the people on the street the rainbow nation at play or the fact so many people were out on the street engaging with one another all I could see was this plastic art work.

Is it something about me. The way that I was raised that the problems always outweigh to positives. I beginning to believe so. So on my building my business journey I have to continue to believe that I am worthy and not allow my inner critic to rip apart my own dreams. However as I recently find out via on of Alanis Morissette's podcasts and her conversation with Dr Stan Tatkin that no feedback ultimately equates to feedback. So it may actual just be the human brain.