Visiting

I'm not sure where I left you on all of this but it's now September and time marches on. After nearly five years in Cornwall I have only now experienced drectly time. Things on boats get done when they get done, not before and not after. Yes and there is something quite liberating about it all. At the moment the concept of time or even having a watch is slowly slipping through my fingers and there isn't an egg timer big enough to express the hours and tides slowly slipping away. Tides come in and go out and if you miss them six to twelve hours of work or fifteen minutes of work has to wait maybe one or two more days. Weeks eventually turn into months and you forget what you were doing all together, in the scheme of things. 

This week we had to dig out my new berth over at Jubilee Wharf. Waiting for fifteen minutes at low tide to do work took the three days. With new green 'Dunlop' wellies  from Trago's, there my first pair since I was about seven. I was ankle deep and almost cemented into the black ancient mud of Penryn. Luckily my cloths acquisition project is working well and sauce's black timberland top looked a treat with the red lead paint on it. We didn't dig up anything that  interesting. Just a few chunks of granite that we'll use for weighting the boat into position and scaffolding block that Wayne has earmarked for my anchor. Digging in the mud disturbed a lot of small pockets of diesel and oil. It was really quite something to see the iridescent colours of oil plop their way to the surface. Swirling round like oil paints when you marble paper except going through the whole spectrum on the surface of black water. The same colours of  fireworks on a much smaller and quieter scale. Hows is it that life can decompose and rot for millennae, fuel the destruction of our planet and yet make beautiful coloured patterns in thick black mud. Life is pretty powerful stuff.

Wayne has taken several photo's of me in all my glory. It's been really fun and I feel more in my body and more like myself than I have felt in years. Wayne even gave me a bottle of champagne to open when we came ashore on Monday night. It was really special. In fact I'm just really happy not overjoyed just happy.  It's amazing what a little normality can do for your sense of well being. Though I'm still signed off on the sick. 

As well as all this now that I've got my own place there has been a steady stream of visitors to see me and my craft. It's been great just hanging out having loads of cups of tea and talking about fiber glassing and all that. Last night I had Beth round for my first official night of entertaining we had a really good time and even had to change the gas bottle for the first time. It was good to be able to do that with a girl rather than having to ask a man for help again. Tom came round on Sunday and we had a really good chat about the events of the last year, relationships, Troubador, the whole nine yards. I realised after a long time that maybe I do have friends and I don't need to explain all the complications to everybody all the time. That's nice. Though I haven't emailed Jennifer back, yet. 

Relationships there funny things and love is even stranger. What happened to that magic wand is it still around. Then there is all the collateral damage that we do each other. "Love hurts, love scars, love wounds and mars any heart not tough or strong enough to take a lot of pain take a lot pain ..........owhowhooowh love hurts". That's the thing though isn't it the fairy tale, the ideology of how it should be. Nobody wants to be 'Tess of the Durbervilles' or Kathy in 'Withering Heights' or any of the other epics. The problem is that love is that powerful and it's human pride and ideas of what should be going on that ruin it.  Love never goes away, you can do your best to ignore it but it will always be there and nothing can remove it, maybe we'll find out in the next life or maybe this one. Do you believe in love?

On going to hell. Hell exists on this earth, pray for the souls that have no way out that they may see the glimmers and follow the sign posts. We are all sinners. It's the second of September my favourite day of the year was yesterday and it was pretty damn good. Time to do the washing up or maybe I'll go fora siesta.