Saturday 28 September 2019

Fossil vs Solar

I just watched the most incredible video of Caroline Myss talking about Fossil Humans vs Solar Humans and break down in personal power,  it's well worth a watch.

Friday 27 September 2019

Discipline, Discipleship and Disassociation

Yes, all of the above. I'm learning about all of these things while typing in bed far to late in the night having not done the things I should think about life the universe and everything. Which I am largely trying to determine by endlessly shuffling a set of Doreen Virtue Magical Unicorns Oracle Cards. Yes, that. The great thing is there all positive and which makes me wonder why my brain needs so much convincing. There is I'm sure a very long story about that, that I am not going to get round to writing while on here tonight. 

I feel calm today, if disorganised and I wonder sometimes if I'm trying to hard to make everything work, get into flow while ignoring my core needs. I probably need to get out more, exercise more and find that killer routine that is supposed to fix everything. 

Lately, I've been talking a lot about discipleship in relation to discipline. That we need to honour ourselves. I'm not keeping up with my own game and I'm wondering why that is. Of course, it is trauma. Trauma, trauma, trauma the great thing is we can cure it we just have to stay present enough to masterfully tend to our needs. Yes that! That's the challenge of disassociation. So on that note, I must get on. 

Tuesday 17 September 2019

Overload, Backed Up Thoughts and Business Strategy

So today once again I'm swimming in strategy and wondering why it is that I never implemented a lot of the creative ideas that I had. That somehow I might be a lot further along in my journey if I had just marketed myself as a "slow coach". Yet that wasn't it entirely.

I was sitting having a cigarette this morning when it hit me. Again. Another title for a book I have not yet written and can join the ten other on the to-do list.

"That Nebulis Thing We Are All Talking About and Can't Name: Systemic Trauma"

Yup and there it is the thing is this is not new information, it what just about every self-help book talking about. Lack of connection, lack of community, purpose, our why or even the fact that we don't touch, we don't talk. We are lonely. Today though my own community I was sent a link to Radha Agrawal talking on Mindvalley  Radha Agrawal  
talking  Vishen Lakhiani  of Mindvalley about her book 'Belong' that talks about how to create community using a strategy call CRAWL
Community
Ritual
Aesthetics
Why & What
Language
These are the five things that she believes need to be considered in your life in order to tackle loneliness. For me though what I find fascinating is already stuff that I have figured out, yet I'm still unable to gain traction on it. What I also love is that there are so many people out there writing and creating and having the ideas that I share. You see I'm not unusual nor am I alone in my quest to build community. Yet I spend a lot of time unpacking my constraints on this. Yes, I have constraints and I wonder how many people share the same constraints as me and whether or not they might help me build the community that I seek more than this. I often have to ask aam I helping or am I hurting as I have huge issues of taking up space as a white woman and South Africa. What opportunities am I stealing from another by taking up space?
It's been a massive question for me and that is what has driven me somewhat counter-intuitively to want to build an online business and community.
So now that I've figured out that what I am really interested in is unravelling Systemic Trauma I wonder exactly how I am going to go about doing that and make money. What strategy do I need to find all the people that are interested in Systemic Trauma and if it's not all Unicorne and sunshine who will buy into it? Not only this I'm a bot if a mess. I don't really believe in linear thinking and right now I'm charging ahead tangled up in my own thought process trying to unravel and clarify what I have already created. You see because I haven't been saying much until because I am to concerned with helping and not hurting and it's making me a little crazy. When really right now I crave certainly and I need to have money in the bank by the end of November before my runway runs out. What I also realise is that true to form I don't want to do or deliver my products or ideas like anybody else. Why is this because I have other complex guiding principles about connection. Where I don't think delivering a Webinar to millions of people offers the best result nor do I believe that it deliver me or the community that I already have with the best results. So like I said it's all a tangle mish-mash of things that I am diving into and unravelling all along with my own personal challenges.

So ideas on a postcard anybody, please....

Sunday 15 September 2019

Moon Bathing

I've been feeling a little disconnected lately as I have been deep diving into my computer in order to refine, define and monetise my life. Yes, I finally got there. That it's important that I get paid for all I do. Well, not everything and yet a lot of it. So I've finally figured out how to do that without having to get out there on the line every day. It sounds so up myself and yet maybe I just have to accept that I am really good at what I do, that I have been confused for a very long time about the nature of my work and now as a result of the internet and advancement in technologies I seem to be able to finally put together a business strategy that works for me. It has to be said though I've been having to hustle. Which is a space I'm really not used to? What does that mean? Well, it means that I've been pushing myself a little bit farther than most of the time and yet at the same time it feels like flow. Right now it's Sunday and I am here typing at the digital coal face. As a way of clearing my mind as well carving a path forward wondering what I am actually able to maintain and if the end result of what I think I can achieve is in any way sustainable. Interesting concept I know and yet it feels like I am almost there. In fact, I feel like I am forever almost there. 

That the minute I manage to add in another layer of what I do I seem to end throwing everything else off it's quite a thing actually. That this is so not the point of the strategy. That we should be doing what we can, rather than pushing to breaking point. In the meantime, all the things that are truly important like moon bathing seem to be lost. Right now I think it's all about systems.  Apparently, you have to learn how to make money in your sleep or you'll always be poor. (Just to be clear I don't necessarily agree with this) But now more then ever it seems like a distinct possibility. And I've been thinking about it long and hard for a substantial amount of time. How do we creat the perfect Life/Work balance? How do we get in harmony with the moon? How do we do the work we love without negatively impacting others. How can we live, travel and explore without imposing who we are on others? Right now these last few weeks feel like a powerful period in my life. Where everything and nothing are about to change.  Where even though you are not making time for it the world seems to be manifesting everything you need and bringing you into flow state.  

It's these moment when you realise that everything is possible. That the National Animal Of Scotland, the unicorn acts as inspiration to us all. That mythical creatures must be real and we a creating the imaginary. That often we are able to swim into the dreams we ache for with very little work if we just let the universe guide us. 

Saturday 14 September 2019

Writing For Clarity

It's actually 20 past minute three days ago and I've been off on a creative bender again. It's what happens when I get too many ideas and I'm not able to ground them. I'm not afraid to say that I get a bit manic. I like to think of it as creative mania. All the best creative that I know have it. They lock themselves in their studios for days weaving together genius and magic. 

Creative people are actually magicians. They are the driving force of the universe. I met a local artist just the other week who was talking about Universal Language.

I've denied myself a lot fo basic self-care and dharma. Yet at the same time yesterday I brushed my hair, scrubbed my body and today I drank water, as well as being highly productive. I'd say all in all I'm actually doing really well.  


I've been integrating a lot of my ideas about evolution lately. That evolution can only be driven by the driving force of love. That ultimately we are all here to create something. To evolve something. We are all here to play our tiny yet significant roles in what is the larger scale the cosmos. 

I've been thinking a lot about scale in relation to my reality to and how creative force can be filled with the darkness of destruction all to do with Kali. In fact, I found a really good talk on the subject by Alan Watts (Yes another white man). It managed to captivate exactly what I've been ruminating over that last few months, with too big and idea to fully express. The idea started with a revelation about an avocado nut that seemed emerge in coincidence with a conversation Russel Brand had with I think either a British Scientist of Theologian that I can find the link to now. That seemed to emulate that the universe was that the universe was willfully expanding through time. That's quite an easy thing to get your head round in and of it' self what I hadn't quite got my head round was that we. Yes, we. The human race was included in that. That the very process of my witing this innate and unfindable blog might be cause for the universe to expand slightly, project and little more and strangely perfect. That we are all going through a process of refinement. This is the idea that the Avocado seed led me to. That by some form of currently intangible consciousness we were all adapting if slowly our reality. We were evolving. All this a realised due to the near perfectness of Avocado seed. It had not been made it had been perfected and who by? Nobody better than itself of course. You see cause who would know any better on how to become a better avocado seed than of course an avocado. Which takes me further down my line of thinking about the good old avocado seed and beyond into the greater consciousness of the avocado as a species. You see the Avocado Seed, Avocado Tree and fruit all share the same consciousness and yet seem to be quite separate things. They share lineages as well as transformation stories. Much like us humans and each generation we hope gets better. Does better. Creates better, as we pass down our wisdom stories.



Friday 13 September 2019

Non-Linear Healing

It's something that I am beginning to touch on more and more in my work. That healing is not linear. It's an idea that has been bandied about a lot. I may even have talked about the Non-Linear concept before in another blog post on The Life Doula. If so I'll check and a leave a link somewhere in here. You have seen this is exactly what I am talking about now. That using the technology of the internet and hyperlinks we can now link through to other spaces and time and wisdom streams. From the past that has the potential to alter our future. Just imagine that for the last ten years or so I've been making a map of my brain on social media. Isn't that crazy. You see not many of us thought about it. Not many of us think about life in those terms even now isn't that crazy. I have to admit only I am thinking about it in this way myself. That we can link information through time. Both bad and good. Largely we like to call those memories. Photographs and writing were ways of moving through time in the 3D, It's got to be fairly straight forward now hasn't it that our brains are not 3D otherwise they wouldn't able to store the information we have. 

Whooo goosebumps..... Have any of you been watching Dr Joe Dispenza

So that's how our brains and our bodies connect when we get reminded of something or even triggered we get jiggerpolted back through time often to remember something that is very relevant to our space and time now, or even in the future. Our brain hyperlinks us from one memory to the next in order to get us to the information we need to thrive. This is why healing is non-Linear. It's why it's something else.  A lot of like to talk about it as spirals. In recent weeks I've been talking a lot about time collapsing in on itself in multiple ways. What I can say is that if you don't get the whole lesson first time round it gets represented other time we just need a little nudge of information to make it correct. 

Sometimes though we have memories that have not been fully processed or filtered through and even worked out. This especially true with the fast pace of life today. This specifically is why healing is non-linear sometimes we have to push through to survive. It's rare these days that we simply have to revert to dharma to get buy. We are all out of sink and now we are healing decades later, grieving our future before fully reconciling the past. It's a fucking mess up there in our heads follow some of the links and you'll get a better picture of what I mean. 

Thursday 12 September 2019

It's All Connected

So I'm writing this here because there is now no longer room for my personal outpourings on my professional website. Do you love my compartmentalising? I'm not sure if it's healthy easier but let's see what happens next... What I've begun to understand that as The Life Doula I'm interested in the impacts of systemic abuse and trauma and how to create systemic healing. You can see why I have huge anxiety at times. For years I have been wandering all over the place geographically, mentally and emotionally in my quest to resolve the world's problems. It started out with Land Abuse, I figured out that the cause for Land Abuse was human and I decided to take my quest there. Trying to understand how trauma impacted the planning process and a sense of belonging, as well as creating further displacement. It was a bit of a wild ride. Then what I realised was that people just wanted to feel better and that having stable, connected, well-served communities is absolutely key to that.  

And so every since putting people at the core of my plan on how to heal the world I've now been on a mission of how best to do that. What I can tell you is that it has taken some time. That it is multilayered as it could be problematic. The real news is that I'm right here back on the blog doing what I need to to do to stay sane and that is writing. Making the pain pay and finding a way to focus, kerb and harness my own creative energy for the good. Bear in mind that I also have my own traumas that can be a long meandering and winding road that often leads me away from here and then back again. That prioritising my own needs are the best way to to have the capacity to do the work I'm here for. That unlocking generation of abuse and trauma isn't easy and won't be done right here right now. That I can take one hour or even one day to experience joy if I need to. That I need to keep on building stamina.


All I can say is that if you are actually interested and keen to find out more keep watching this space and the information will eventually guide me back to here or one of my other platforms and eventually the story, realisation, insight will be shared and I'll no longer be playing tens years of twenty years of catch up. I can hear Abraham Hicks' amusement from here. So this is where I am here. At the centre of my own circle that was created for me and that I may now only just be beginning to get a handle over. Seriously though this is going to be a lifetime's work. Sorting through all this, making the magic happen, sharing the wisdom and doing my best to leave humanity and the planet better than I found it. 

So yes it's all connected.  If you are following me on Instagram the hashtag will tell you so. You can always head over to The Life Doula if you want to learn even more.

Wednesday 11 September 2019

Re-Direction

So I have no idea in the last few months when it finally hit me that what my real niche was. The Life Doula deals with Systemic Trauma. What I can tell is that it knocked me for six. My brain has been going a little bit crazy ever since. Actually, it might all have started when I bought Convert Kit and my friend Karyn Reynolds started sequencing emails for me and then it kind of became clear what profile storyteller and connector of dots I was and then all of a sudden poof you are here. Re-writing at the blog you had half abandoned again after what I can only describe as one of the toughest years in history. Yes so I am re-building the dream of The Life Doula and it would appear that the universe has gifted me with all the information and tools that I need in order to take it all forward. One slow step at a time. 

 The end goal is a community of some sort. 

The immediate goal is getting convertkit running like a boss. 

The next week's goals are to get more one-to-one clients and that they are actually all the clients I want. 

I'm not doing workshops. I might do talks. 

I am avoiding causing trauma. That's really important. 

What I am really rediscovering right now is my passion for writing even if it is just Instagram posts oh yes that. 

With the topic of Systemic Trauma & Abuse, I know it's going to be hard to run out of writing topics. Right now at this point, I'm just hoping that I write enough that I can actually get round to reading some books. How amazing would that be? And of course to be able to afford them. 

So yes I'm excited about my re-direct and also now know where this blog fits into that process of creating content. You see this blog has been like a lame duck for years sometimes' it gets my attention other times, I seem to roam away from like a wild unicorn should. Now I see that it has a far more vital role to play in terms of telling my story. You see The Life Doula has been eluding me for such a long time it has left my writing wondering all of the places. Largely talking about myself and not about my niche or even customer-focused. You know what that was cause I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't get all the things that I wanted to into straight lines. There always seemed like a crisis mos to the one on my own brain. Now that I have solved it I can get linear. You see that is what trauma does we get lost in the information stuck in the overwhelming, twittering on about what might seem like unconnected nonsense. Then, of course, you make the connection. It's all connected. Which leads me on to my next blog post.